


sleepy ocean of roses

by velavelavela



Category: Shoujo Kakumei Utena | Revolutionary Girl Utena
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, Experimental Style, F/F, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Relationship Study, Stream of Consciousness, i was inspired by virginia woolf and thats pretty obvious lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 05:01:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26780029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velavelavela/pseuds/velavelavela
Summary: Utena was not yet fully asleep, but her face was lit by the stars in the purple-threaded sky as they rotated and bled into the room. They had been talking for a time, but then Utena had closed her eyes, her eyelashes blending into one row of fluttering soldiers, a yawn taking over her face and a stretch and a roll onto her side-- Anthy thought, Utena is the most handsome girl I know, and I do not know what I would do if I were not by her side.
Relationships: Himemiya Anthy/Tenjou Utena
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	sleepy ocean of roses

Utena is one of the most handsome girls she knew, Anthy thought, when her hair was down and framing her face like a gentle blushing curtain, her petal-soft hand touching Anthy’s, and when Anthy thought this, she found herself very flustered, because she did not often think of girls as handsome. But, Utena was also beautiful-- Anthy did not often link those two traits, but Utena was every happy trait, every whisper and windchime laugh, every dahlia in the beds of the birdcage garden in Ohtori’s courtyard, and of course, every rose, the pink ones and white ones and red ones and. And. And. Utena was not yet fully asleep, but her face was lit by the stars in the purple-threaded sky as they rotated and bled into the room. They had been talking for a time, but then Utena had closed her eyes, her eyelashes blending into one row of fluttering soldiers, a yawn taking over her face and a stretch and a roll onto her side-- Anthy thought, Utena is the most handsome girl I know, and I do not know what I would do if I were not by her side. Maybe she meant physically, as her brown fingers touched the  _ just there _ wrist of Utena, and her own hair curled around her shoulders and lay heavy behind her, still a bit wet from her shower where she routinely counted the scars on her body again and again to check if she were real, and she wanted to braid her curls with Utena’s, separating the strands with nimble hands and working them in and out of one another, until there was something odd and awesome in the creation. Utena must now be sleeping, though, so Anthy would put that off for now. Their hands together anchored her as she closed her own eyes and started the vanishing act of trembling towards sleep-- first she lost her throat, disappearing into stark nothingness, then she lost her spine and ribs, and her fractured self kept going, and she knew it would stop if she just opened her eyes, but there was the inevitable of sleep that ached the corners of them. Anthy did not fall to sleep, she dissolved into it. But what didn’t disappear, vanish into an unknowable void, was the way she was touching Utena’s gently calloused skin, the heel of her hand, her wrist, her fingernails and fingertips, all the things that Anthy lost of herself when she closed her eyes, because while Anthy left into unconsciousness, Utena leapt to it, as she was born to do. And when Anthy had bad dreams, she willed herself almost lucidly to think about Utena, and how their beds koi-fished together, and how she was mere inches away, and how if Anthy wanted to, but had thus far not, she could reach for Utena’s forearm, pull herself closer, touch Utena’s shoulder, lay her head on Utena’s evenly rising and falling chest, listen to the heartbeat of her handsome prince, listen, listen, listen, and smell her, and drift into a sleepy ocean of roses.

**Author's Note:**

> so i started writing this in my head while reading "to the lighthouse" by virginia woolf and i tried to echo aspects of her style to mimic thought/consciousness/self/etc etc yknow. ps i love you anthy!!!!!!!!


End file.
